Movie Review: Kick Ass

Two words: Fuck Yeah! I only ask two things from movies, a great character somewhere in the film, and for the movie to provide enough story that I get lost in it. That's it. Yet for the most part those Studio dipshits keep churning out bloody stool like Meet The Spartans and whatever abortion Jennifer Anniston and her contractually obligated companions will be in.
Kick Ass is a movie about the comic book launched- concurrently with the making of the film-under Marvel Comics' Icon label by Mark Millar. Dave Lisewski is a loser. And not just your run of the mill unpopular in high school type. He's not smart, or interesting, he jacks off all day to his english teacher. Then he thinks the thought anyone whoever read a comic thinks, "Why can't I become a super hero?". He tries, and fares as well as anyone with no combat training and no physical strength would fare and ends up in the hospital needing severe rehabilitation which also gives him nerve damage allowing him to take a tremendous beating without feeling much pain. Now even though that is a lame superpower, it was a bit of a cop-out as that was a power none the less. Anyway, on his second attempt he fights a little better causing his attackers to just give up in frustration all while being caught on camera phone. His you Tube video gets 22 million hits, and a superhero is born.

At this point I'd like to talk about product placement. I get it, you got to finance these things, but for god's sake!  An alien facehugger is more subtle in its approach to impregnate you than most of these ham handed attempts in movies. Case in point- Once Dave/Kick Ass becomes a known superhero, he tkes all requests for help through his....MySpace site? Okay mention it once, but characters in this movie can't shut the fuck up about it. "I'm on Kick Ass's MySpace page!" "We tracked you down on MySpace" "Just set your MySpace page setting to 'OnVacation'!" It just sounded so out of place. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't everyone leave MySpace for Facebook like 5 years ago?  Every so often I go back and check the page and have 50 friend requests from phishers and spammers posing as slutty 18 year olds. It's like hearing James Bond tell his one night stand that he learned how to fuck from an article he read in Maxim.
Anyway, Dave eventually gets in over his head and is saved by a legitimate super-hero, Hit Girl. This character along with Nic Cage are the only legitimate badasses in the movie. And Holy shit are her fight scenes awesome. This girl makes the body guard from Kill Bill look like Glass Joe. Turns out she and Cage's character, Big Daddy have been done wrong by the mafia boss, played by Mark Strong and are slowly robbing him and buying weapons with his money to fight him with. The fight scenes are Jet Li'esque and a lot of fun. I cant remember the last time I laughed out loud when a guy took a knife to the eye. Oh yeah, I remeber, my eighth birthday party. Sorry Mom.
The movie follows the plot you think it will, And I would've like to have seen the McLovin heel turn be surprise but it hardly reduces the fun. I give this one 4 out of 5 stars.