This Guy Ain't Got Nothing...ON....ME!!

Does it get any better than today? Seriously. The ACC tournament starts in 45 minutes. Wall to wall basketball all day. Then I take a stroll down to E 14th St to O'Hanlon's pub to do some stand-up with Gary Gulman, one of my favorites and all around good guy. Then after the show, I pull up some barstool and watch as the Mighty Fightin' Wolfpack of NC State take on the puny lowly tigers of clemson.  To be honest,  the show will be much better than the game because NC State absolutely sucks. Everyone in Raleigh is crowing about how they've won 3 out of their last 4, and that the tournament is wide open, and that we've beat all of the top seeds except Maryland. But for a team that hasn't won 3 games in a row since December,  four wins in four days is a tall order. But no matter, I can walk around like this guy in the video all day because until 9:30 tonight they are the ACC champs in waiting and you can't prove me wrong. Anyone reading this should really stop by the show tonight at 8:00. It's at O'Hanlons pub on 349 E 14th st. Cheap drinks, great show, then hoops. IF the Pack wins, I'm buying.

Corey Haim ......what can you say?

You know, I like a lot of people would like to remember Mr. Haim as Lucas, or Sam from The Lost Boys. But I cant because I saw this, like 8 years ago:

That shit has stuck with me like some horrible war nightmare ever since. And the worst part is you can see this slide starting ten years earlier in this next video. when he tries to tell the viewers that he's getting into directing soon as well as producing music (Go to the 2:29 mark to see something funny/sad.)
 You gotta think that fame is a real bitch, huh? I mean, I can drink 5 nights out of the week, pop painkillers,  and eat KFC every meal but no one gives a shit. Can you imagine, living with an out of control addiction and EVERYONE knowing who you are,

Hi. I'm a Dipshit.

Here's a guy who I thought was sharp, well spoken, cared about the fact that we as a society are moving toward all the money being in one tax bracket and the rest of us fighting over stale bread in Thunderdome. He was listed as one of People's 50 Most Beautiful. He had the sympathy factor with a son who had been killed in an auto accident and a wife who battles cancer as we speak. Even after a failed VP run and two unsuccessful Presidential campaigns, I thought this guy had something to offer.  A talking head in health care debates, spokesman for the poor, ally of the left. I actually met him once and he seemed pretty cool. Turns out he likes to fuck things that look like this:

Rule number one when having an affair as a public figure,  your mistress needs to be hotter and skinnier than your wife. That way, no matter what, at least the men will understand. And if your wife has cancer, you better be fucking Jessica Alba. Edwards, on the other hand not only stuck his dick in this, but went Antonio Cromartie style and ended up with another kid. A kid he payed his buddy to say was his. Now there's a sex tape. A-ha! A chance for Edwards to save some face with his manly video exploits. Maybe the tape will show JE seriously wrecking some shop Randy West-style, or that she's a real animal in the sack...... What's that? It just shows Edwards eating her box? Really? For like 30 minutes? Who video tapes themselves doing that? Anything else? Oh she's 8 months pregnant in the video? I think I'd rather watch Cake Farts (NSFW). Seriously.